life has changed around here - baby marin violet was born on June 7, 2011. here's a run down of the past 6 weeks.
my parents arrived on may 29 to be here for the baby's birth. she was due may 30 and their return flight wasn't until... june 7. so we figured they'd definitely see the baby. during the time they were here (and during all of may, for that matter...), we walked miles and miles, i bounced on an exercise ball, folks i did it ALL - the baby did not want to come out. i had a 40 week appointment and talked with my ob about an induction. the earliest she'd consider it - june 7.
soooo.... on june 7 at 8:30am i checked into maine medical center, my hair did, my bag neatly packed, my parents, eric and adam there. it was a weird experience to know i was going in and would have a baby later that day. no element of surprise. i told every nurse who would listen: my parents have to leave at 4pm to catch a flight. the baby HAS to be out before then. they promised me they would try.
i was already 3cm when i arrived at the hospital and having random contractions, so once the drug drip started, things moved along pretty quickly. a couple times the baby's heart rate dropped significantly and i was given an oxygen mask and had to change positions. this scared me - especially when i was warned that if it didn't change i may have to have a c-section. luckily, things got better and we trucked along. all the while adam playing in the room with the nurse and my parents chatting and watching the clock.
around 2:30 i started pushing and at 3:05pm eric shouted - IT'S A GIRL! baby marin shocked us with her full head of dark hair and her tiny size - 6lbs 1oz. eric ran to the hallway and shouted to my parents and adam that it was a girl and i could hear them cheering - it was awesome. after marin was all cleaned up and my body was, ahem, taken care of... my parents came in to hold marin for about 20 minutes before they had to leave for their flight. it was so bittersweet, but i am thankful they got to meet her, however brief!
our stay in the hospital was great and by the time we came home, eric's parents and brother had arrived. they stayed for a week. and THEN - they left and eric left too, all on the same day! eric had a THREE week work trip that could not be avoided. to say i was nervous and overwhelmed and sad would be an understatement. i was awash with emotions and cried a lot. i had NO idea how i'd manage a new baby and a toddler, plus my own physical and emotional needs.
but, as is always the case, the world kept turning even when i was sure it wouldn't. i struggled through all the feedings, sleepless nights, nursing woes, toddler tantrums and playtime, meals, laundry, and my own physical recovery, but i made it. well, we all made it. poor eric, by the time he was able to call me in the evenings, i was so exhausted and overwhelmed i melted into a blubbering mess on the phone. i'm sure he thought i was on the brink. (ok, maybe i WAS on the brink...?) but yes, can check that off my list [take care of 1 week old + 2 yr old + own broken body 1 week postpartum alone] and never hope to do it again. ever.
during that time, i was blessed to have meals delivered every other night by a group of women i am friends with. it was SO nice and i wondered many times how or what we would have eaten without them. every other evening, a friend arrived with a meal, placed it in my fridge and was on her way. life saving. during this time, it was also very important to me that adam not feel excluded or unimportant, so i made an effort to get him to play dates, swimming pools, and even to the beach once (bad idea with a newborn, but hey, at least i tried!). we went on walks along maine's beautiful rocky coast (marin strapped to my chest in our new, oh so amazing moby wrap! how did i go without this time last time?!), and to playgrounds. when eric came home, we took him to see the movie Cars 2 (which he calls the "tow truck movie" since his favorite character and recent CRAZY obsession is with Tow Mater), during which marin slept the whole time.
eric came home for a week to a month old baby and is now away again for 10 days (arriving home tomorrow, yay!). during this stretch, my mom visited, rachel and my brother is here now. having the extra hands and the adult company has been SUCH A LUXURY. LUXURY. one person cleaning up from dinner while i rock a baby? will NEVER take for granted ever ever again.
when eric was home briefly we painted marin's room pink. ironically, the exact same pink as the strawberry milkshakes i ate daily while pregnant with her. :) it's an adorable little room. around 5 weeks we moved her to her own crib and out of our room. i was sort of sad when we did this, and i can see this will be a theme, probably for her whole life, ha. "but this is the last little baby to sleep in our room...." i thought and said out loud. eric reminded me that she'd be 10 feet away and i'd see her every few hours. ah, right.
speaking of... marin is a mystery sleeper, but things are getting a little better every day. she has no real schedule to speak of yet and her naps are mostly cat naps. when she naps more than 30 mins i actually start to wonder if something is wrong! sometimes she likes the swaddle and sometimes she is cool and content without it, arms stretched overhead. since it worked so well with adam, i have tried to start a nightly bedtime routine at the same time everynight. now, i know she's just 6 weeks and this will probably not really do much... yet. but having a schedule is good for all of us, and eventually she'll get the memo that a bath = her bedtime. MOST of the time i can give her a bath, a bottle, a rock and put her down around 7pm, leaving adam and me to enjoy dinner sans baby - a little special time just for us, and this also frees me up to put him to bed and keep his routine in tact. then i feed marin again before i hit the sack. typically she wakes anywhere between 2 and 4 for another feeding (has been closer to 4 more often lately, so i hope this means soon she'll stretch it to 6am!). BUT. after that feeding, all bets are off and i have the damndest time getting her back to sleep. she falls asleep, wakes up, falls asleep, wakes up. every 20 mins or so i'm up out of the bed. most times, i start to see the sun rising and finally give up, bringing her to bed with me and letting her sleep on my chest while i sleep on my back. bad, i know. but knowing that i have to "clock in" for adam in just a few hours has me desperate for rest. the most frustrating part of all of this is that her ability to sleep with me in my bed shows me that she IS still tired. why all the sudden can she not sleep in her own bed??? see? a mystery, this one.
marin is also more particular than adam was - she does not like a dirty diaper at all, she must eat every 2 hours or else, she hates the car and cries when we're not moving (stop lights, drive throughs, in the driveway, etc). BUT. she is the most adorable little peanut. her eyes are so curious and her smiles (new) are so full and happy and have dimples. she's gaining weight nicely - still wearing newborn clothes no problem, but filling them out finally. her hair is turning lighter, though she is rarely in the sunshine without a hat. she's not a big burper and i've only seen her spit up once - unlike adam, who was the world's worst spitter upper each and every time, no matter what we did. i LOVE dressing her and all her little clothes are so cute. she loves listening to and looking at adam, who is almost constantly asking to touch her, kiss her, hug her, sing to her and telling her he loves her.
tho i still feel truly exhausted just about all the time, and amaze myself with how much coffee i am drinking to keep myself going, i can also feel a normalcy creeping in. i know that maybe the dust is JUST starting to settle a bit. i feel confident that in a month or two i will be in a new place and feel so much more adjusted. i definitely feel fulfilled and crazy lucky to have two beautiful healthy children. and adam is such a helper and so loving and adjustable. when eric is here, he is totally hands on and takes over so i can escape for a jog, a yoga class, or just a grocery trip alone. i have to admit, however, i will be happy when his busy work schedule lightens up a bit!
we're currently in a heat wave - it was 102 in maine today. we don't have AC (almost no one in maine does) and it was 96 in our house. we have fans in every window in every room, it's like a wind tunnel in here. marin and adam are sleeping in diapers/pull ups and it's just so hot it is miserable. adam is loving freezer pops and a sprinkler i bought him that blows balls up into the air on a water stream. he loves blowing bubbles and helping me water my garden. marin sits fairly happily in her baby seat outside with all this going on. we're making it!
